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This is how to enjoy being by yourself. 

You are the focus, you are the center and here we are, getting to know you better. Be aware you’d find surprises every step of the way, some will be cute and some will be disappointing but the beautiful ones will grasp the apex of your heart, and the disappointing ones will head straight to the fixing room- anything to become the best version of you.

You start by doing things most humans think are meant to be done with company.

Today, you are at the movies, you buy your ticket and the ticket guy asks ‘how many will it be for’? You say one and you catch him raise his dark well carved brows and you can tell he’s wondering why you are all by yourself, a tiny spark of concern might run through his vessel. You smile because this isn’t your first time and you are accustomed to it. The suggestive brows, the spark of concern and hint of bias judgement is as a big balloon hitting your huge bubble of happiness- it doesn’t get to you.

You sit in one of the black leather chairs right outside Cinema Room 3, because you are 15 minutes early.

You watch couples gallivant like bees searching for pollen, loving up in endearing positions. Groups of friends parading back and forth, you are not bothered but you remember the first time you were here by yourself, you felt odd, somewhat alone but – not today.

You feel excited to be here by yourself, to explore this new movie, all by yourself. You secretly wonder if your brain will burst out in ecstasy like it did when you saw “Crazy Rich Asians”, as not the least sparkle nor gesture could slip through your fine tuned focus.

You plan your Instagram feed for the week while a couple beside you chit-chat about the new positions they’d like to try.

There, you wonder if you are the odd one out but the thought of being the white egg in the midst of browns tickles your ego.

Your stomach, chimes; not for the romance in the air but for hunger and thirst. It’s 2:00pm and you haven’t had lunch. But who cares, that’s what pop corn was invented for.

Time to go, all by your beautiful bouncing self, it’s no big deal. Wait, No ! Each time you spend time with yourself, it is most certainly a big deal!

 You walk into the cinema carrying your medium sized pop corn and a bottle of your favourite soda, you wonder if you should have bought water instead, “this is not how you cut down your sugar intake!” you scold yourself.

You find a seat on the 7th row, far enough from all the couples and cliques. A comfortable space for just you but, that doesn’t last long because a couple walks in thinking it’s okay to sit right behind you, you look around wondering why they couldn’t pick different seats but you don’t let it bother you. There, you spot another like you, you smile, she can’t see you and it doesn’t matter.

Here, you watch yourself just like you are watching the movie, your laughter and self adoration is uncensored yet appropriate. No hand fights with yours as you dip your fingers into the bosoms of the cream-crunchy corn.

You are comfortable, you are complete but yet the couple behind you won’t let you focus as they whisper loudly. A knock on their head? A confrontation? – Naaaaaahh, you simply sit tight and hope their mouth hugs their tongue tightly as you try harder to drown their voices underneath that of the actors.

In between the movie, your stomach protests for revenge, carefully twisting itself, surrendering itself to a tie-dye process. Now you know better than to think pop-corn suffices as lunch. Gestid! – the saviour pops through your mouth into your stomach.

Now, you feel great. You’ll hear your scream above all others, your solo giggles and you could care less who else is watching. 

Secretly, you wouldn’t want the movie to end. A little more time with your ‘before anyone else’ is all you crave for at the moment.

This is you, in your purest element, enjoying a work of art – not the movie, not the pop corn, not the soda; You.




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                                                                                                        EDITED BY: AMAHIA CHUKS

                                                                                                         PHOTO: PINTEREST

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Mariam Alayande

Mariam Alayande is a writer and poet. She started writing at the age of 9. Some of her articles have been published in a couple of magazines and books and is increasingly gaining more recognition.

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  1. Iyioluwa January 12, 2020

    Epic content!!!! I’m in love already. I can totally relate with this. #much_love

    1. Mariam Alayande January 15, 2020

      I’m so glad you can relate, thank you very much!


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